It's Friday, which means Video of the Week at eurOut. This time we go to France to bring you a video we think is worthy of your attention.

After a few weeks of superficial music videos full of girls making out with each other, we now turn to a music video that's a little more serious. Tous Egaux ('All Equal') by Ensemble Pour L'egalité (Collective for Equality) is the creation of Thibault, a 24-year-old French gay man, who dreams of being able to walk hand in hand with his partner when they are accompanying their children to the park.

In order to be able to do so, he felt the world needs to change a little, or at least become more tolerant and open minded. He decided to make this video to raise awareness and make a big statement for equality for everyone. His goal is to reach Nadine Morano with this video, the French secretary of state for Family and Solidarity, and make sure something is done to improve tolerance and abolish homophobia in France.

Thibault is not doing this alone, but the Ensemble Pour L'egalité consists of 22 people, who you can all see in the music video.

What do you think of this video and videos like this? Do you think it's important or do you wonder about its effectiveness? Let us know in the comments.

Find out more about this initiative here.

What do fixing a bike, using a menstrual cup and making music with your computer have in common?

I won't blame you for not guessing it correctly, but the answer is: you can learn about all these things in the workshop at the 8th LaD.I.Y.fest in Berlin (16-19 September 2010).

Photo from 'Ladyfest', a short documentary film about LaD.I.Y.fest Berlin 2007 (by Miro Mastropasqua).

As the name 'LaD.I.Y.fest' (D.I.Y. stands for 'Do It Yourself') already suggests, this feminist festival depends on people who are willing to participate. The first Ladyfest took place in Olympia, Washington (USA) ten years ago. Since then, Ladyfests have been organised all over the world, LaD.I.Y.fest Berlin only being one of them.

The workshops held this year range from political topics like 'Decolonising queer-feminism: racism and white supremacy in our movements', to hands-on experience in working with wood and electricity, t-shirt printing and converting your bicycle.

There'll also be a treasure hunt, which sounds like a fun way to learn about feminist topics and getting to know Berlin. But for this you are asked to bring your own bicycle.

Flyer LaD.I.Y.fest Berlin

In the evenings there are going to be parties and concerts. Whether you prefer pop, rock, punk, folk, hip hop or electro, you'll be sure to find music that suits your needs.

If all this sounds like something you want to be part of, you can learn more at their website and their Facebook page.

As we reported yesterday, the European Parliament discussed the topic of discrimination against same-sex married and in civil partnership couples.

Last Tuesday, an oral question and a number of interventions were posed by the Members of the European Parliament to Vivianne Reding, Vice-President of the European Commission and the EU Commissioner for Justice, Fundamental Rights and Citizenship.

Vivianne Reding / Photo: ILGA-Europe

LGBT organisation ILGA-Europe has welcomed this debate by the Members of the European Parliament which is important given that married and registered same-sex couples in the EU are still subjected to various discriminations when they avail themselves of the right to freedom of movement within the EU.

In 2004, the European Union adopted a Directive on the right to free movement which encourages EU member states to facilitate the entry and residence for married and/or registered partners. This Directive provides for equal treatment of different-sex and same-sex partners as it does not refer to the gender of the partners. However, since the Directive does not specify that Member States are obliged to recognise the civil status of same-sex partners, many same-sex couples effectively have their marriages and registered partnerships de facto voided when they exercise their rights to freedom of movement to countries that do not have an equivalent institution to their civil status.

Tuesday’s debate dealt with the above issues and MEPs have highlighted a list of discriminations that same-sex families experience, including: gaps in social security and survivor’s pension; non-recognition of partner’s choice in medical care; non-recognition of marriages and civil status; and stripping of parental ties from non-biological children.

The response of the Commission was that the legislation is already tackling discrimination and providing for just recognition, and that matters of legislation around the recognition of same-sex partners is a domestic issue for the Member States to resolve.

ILGA-Europe has stated that although it recognises the principle of subsidiary applies on matters of the recognition or otherwise of same-sex families, it cannot agree with the Commission that Freedom of Movement Directive is already tackling the gaps that the MEPs highlighted. Many same-sex partners are in fact opting not to travel and reside in a number of EU countries due to the implications that non-recognition of their marriages / registered partnerships has on their lives.

ILGA-Europe has therefore called upon the Commissioner Reding to take political leadership on this issue and to ensure that the European Commission is guided by the fundamental principle of freedom of movement enshrined in the EC Treaty and initiate actions requiring EU Member States to mutually recognise each other’s marriages and partnerships between persons of the same sex. Only legally binding mutual recognition of such marriages and partnerships will ensure that the fundamental EU principle of freedom of movement will be fully applied to married or in civil partnership same-sex couples.

To watch the debate and to find out more about the Directive on freedom of movement, go to ILGA-Europe’s website.

[Editor’s Note: Read the previous recap here.]

September 2^nd
After having told her dad that the rumours were true about her and Sian, Sophie finds herself in an awkward position: breakfast with the family the following morning. Our good friend Random Rosie is of course on top form already telling Sophie how all she needs to make the rumours disappear would be to be seen singing with a really cool guy, one like every lesBian’s worst nightmare and look-a-like: Justin Bieber!! *insert exaggerated and dramatic eye-roll and groan here* Kevin does his best to get Random Rosie off the subject... but now Sally has joined in saying that they’re nothing but “nasty accusations” and that there’ll be no dungarees in their house! Random Rosie pretends to be shocked:

But poor Sophie feels awkward and Kevin looks worried about his daughter because of how the rest of the family are acting.

Later Kevin and Sophie are back on their little communication corner... also known as the couch. Sophie’s still upset about what Sally had said earlier: “Like being gay’s disgusting.” Kevin says that she’s 15 and that she doesn’t know what she is, leading Sophie to respond defensively:

Sophie: Dad, I am in love with a girl, ok? And you’re the one that’s confused about that, not me!

Kevin apologizes and says that he’s just her clumsy old dad who isn’t very, “PC”. Sophie just asks that he stops calling her confused as it’s really insulting, which he agrees to. She then says that Sian’s not confused either; she’s just scared that her dad will find out. Kevin then says that it may be a phase, but Sophie turns around and asks him has he never thought about kissing Tyrone or Ashley? He laughs and says no, has she? Er, that’ll be a no right back at you Kevin, particularly as she follows it by saying: “You know you’re straight, I know I’m not.” She still doesn’t want her mum to know yet, because she doesn’t want to put the stress on her as she’s still recovering from breast cancer. Kevin agrees, but reassures her further that he’s ok with who she is:

Kevin: Hand on heart, you’ve never disappointed me, you wouldn’t know how to. I respect you, and I’ll support you always.
Sophie: Will you be happy for me?
Kevin: Yeah, I’ll get there.

Then in true heart-to-heart conversation wrap-up style: they hug!

Sally has another shout at Claire in the middle of the street about threatening to get a lawyer onto her for slander after calling Sophie a lesbian. Kevin’s there to try and stop Sally saying anything else and pulls her away towards his work, leaving Claire alone.

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Sophian meet up down an alley to talk and Sian’s worried about the funny looks people are giving her after everyone’s started gossiping about them. It’s then that she notices Sophie’s been crying and it’s then that Sophie tells her she’s told her dad it’s all true. Well, to be diplomatic, Sian isn’t exactly happy for her girlfriend at that moment, she’s a bit more, well, mad.

She doesn’t listen when her girl is telling her about needing to open up to her dad, but instead is more worried about how this might affect her own dad finding out. Sian can’t believe that Sophie’s told her dad, and is even more shocked to find out he wants her to tell her mum.

Sian: Oh why don’t we hire out the town hall and make a big announcement out of it?!

Sophie then says that she thinks her dad will tell her mum and then she’ll not be allowed to see Sian anymore. Sian says Sophie can visit her grave when her dad’s “murdered” her. Just at that, our smug little straight boy Ryan appears, gloating:

Ryan: I believe the cat’s out the bag girls. Congratulations!
Sophie: This place is like a goldfish bowl!

Sian says that she can’t not see Sophie and the only way for this to happen: run away and disappear together. Sophie agrees.

They go off in separate directions to get their bags ready. Drama, drama, drama!

Kevin takes Sally to his work to calm her down after her run-in with Claire in the street and she tells him he should apologise. He asks what for, to be told that he should have backed her up with Claire, and “defended [his] daughter’s good name”. Sally then says that it’s because of Claire that Sophie is being called a lesbian “left, right and centre”. Kevin asks: “Would it be so bad? I’m serious, if you found out Sophie was gay, would your sky fall in?”

Sally’s shocked and confused and then Kevin clears matters up for her: Sian’s more than Sophie’s mate, they’re a couple. Sally looks even more confused and more than a little hurt.

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Back at the house, Sophie’s filling up a bag with things to take while Random Rosie is off in her own thoughts and world, entirely oblivious to her sister, as she’s too shocked at the lack of wolf-whistles she’d received that day... and then she notices Sophie’s bag:

Rosie: Where are you skulking off to? Erh, please tell me you’re not running away?
Sophie: You’ve got it in one.
Rosie: Sophie I’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to tough it out, less people’ll think it’s true.
Sophie: It is true, ok?! It’s true!

The look of shock on Random Rosie’s face is incredible...

Sophie: I am in love with Sian and if I stay here any longer Rosie, people are gonna try and split us up, especially my Mum. Please.
Rosie: Sophie, why didn’t you tell me?
Sophie: Because it was easier not to, because I never found the right moment, because I was brickin’ it, I dunno, how long have you got?!
Rosie: Yeah but I’m your sister.
Sophie: Since our news everyone round here goes all weird on you, isn’t it, remember? Justin Bieber!?
Rosie: Sophie, I would never, I would never have said that if I’d have known!
Sophie: ‘Cause apparently I need a PR strategy, ‘cause I’ve been called the worst thing in the world!
Rosie: Sophie! I am a stupid cow, and you know that!

Rosie pulls Sophie into her arms... revealing how disturbing her outfit is, complete with ‘pop my cherry’ emblazoned on the back.

Rosie: You know, Sophie I wish I was the kind of sister you feel you could talk to.
Sophie: Yeah, well you are, now.

Rosie empties her purse of all the cash that she has and gives it to her younger sister.

Sophie: Thank you. Tell Mum and Dad not to worry, ok? I’ll be fine. I’ve gotta go.
Rosie: Take care, yeah?

Sophie picks up her bag and leaves to get the bus with Sian.

Sally and Kevin are in the pub having a drink after Kevin telling her about Sophie and Sian. Sally is in denial about Sophie being gay and keeps telling Kevin that she’s a teenager, her hormones, and she’s confused. Then insists on it being Sian’s fault and how she led Sophie on. Sally wonders why Sophie confided in Kevin and not in her. Kevin replies that she told Sophie Claire had been making “nasty allegations”. She then asks again why she wasn’t the one that was told, Kevin says that maybe it was just a “right place at the right time” situation for Sophie to tell him. He says that it can’t have been easy for her. Sally then says that life’s hard enough when you’re straight; her life is going to be so hard.

Sophian are now on their local bus deciding where to go and telling each other what they’ve packed. Sophie tells Sian that Rosie gave her money and before she shouts at her for telling her sister everything, she was sooo supportive. Sian says that she wishes she had a sister and Sophie offers to share hers.

Sally and Kevin get back to the house to find Random Rosie coming down the stairs having found Sophie’s goodbye note. Sally says that they’ve got to find her, they’ve just got to. Kevin walks over to comfort his wife while Random Rosie’s worried in the background.

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September 5^th
Sally is calling her way through Sophie’s friends... even those that she hasn’t spoken to in years... in the hope that one of them will have any idea as to where her daughter could be. Random Rosie tries to reassure her mum by saying if Sophie’s anything like her when she ran away, she’ll soon come to her sense and come home. Sally just replies that what if something happens to her before that, what then?

Later the police have arrived at the Webster’s house to get details about Sophie’s disappearance. Sally, Kevin and Sophie’s granddad sit worried on the couch while Random Rosie sits tormented on the stairs. Sally tells the police officer about her daughter’s recent admission about her relationship with Sian, making her granddad shocked that “it is true”. The police officer assures them that every police force in the country will be notified, as will the missing persons agencies.

Kevin and granddad head out to look for themselves, while the local taxi firm put out an alert to other taxi companies about the missing girls. Michelle, Ryan’s mum, also finds out about them and offers her support and help if it’s needed.

Ashley finds out from the street what’s happened to the girls and goes home to tell Claire, who each assume it’s the girls’ guilt at being outed, as well as Aadi’s injury, that’s driven them to run away.

Sally is in the pub with Rita, an old family friend, when they have to leave because of neighbours’ speculations and assumptions as to why the girls have ran off.

Ashley and Claire leave the pub also and meet Sunita and Dev in the street on their way back from the hospital after hearing Aadi might be let out the following week. They ask after Aadi to see how he’s doing and Dev makes a snide comment about them showing they care. Ashley stands up for his wife and informs the couple that Sophie and Sian have run away, perhaps because of a guilty conscience.

Random Rosie answers the phone at home and it’s Sophie:

Rosie: Hello? Sophie, Sophie where are you? Sophie, are you alright? Mum and Dad have been out of their minds, they’ve had the police round and everything! Right, where are you? Is Sian with you? Where did you stay last night?

Sally enters the room during the call and snatches the phone from Rosie to speak to Rosie, but as she hears her mum’s voice on the line, Sophie hangs up. Sally then asks Random Rosie a million questions about the call and why she didn’t ask her sister where she was. Random Rosie then lets slip that she made Sophie promise to call her when she left, making both Sally and Kevin mad at her. Sally says that Sophie knows there’s nothing she could do that Sally wouldn’t forgive, but Random Rosie backs her sister up by saying:

Rosie: Mum, she’s done nothing to forgive, she just wants to be herself, and you can’t hack that. And she knows it.

Dev and Sunita are in their back garden and Sunita tells Dev about Sophian being a couple, which makes Dev certain that because they’re gay wasn’t the only reason they ran away, it must mean that they’re guilty about hurting Aadi too. Clearly.

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Sally is telling Random Rosie that she doesn’t know what Sophie expects:

Sally: Put up some bunting? Throw a ‘coming out’ party?
Rosie: She just wants to feel loved.
Sally: Well she is, and she always will be, but she’s a child, she’s too young to be making decisions like this.
Rosie: Mum, it isn’t a decision.
Sally: Isn’t it? With girls her age it’s all fads and passing fancies? You used to walk around like something out the Addams Family, but you grew out of it.
Rosie: Well I’m nothing like Sophie, plus you don’t just grow out of your sexuality.

Wow, for someone who dresses questionably and has some strange turn-of-phrases, Rosie’s really getting these explanations to her mum down to an absolute tee!

Later Random Rosie is back to living up to her name... oh dear. She’s trying to reassure Sally that “at least Sophie’s still into girly stuff like clothes and make-up and that. Well, you know, she’s really quite feminine, she’s not, like all Doc Martens and flannel shirts and that”. Sally understandably retaliates with a simple comment: “And you lecture me on prejudice?!”

Just at that Kevin returns saying that they found the phone booth that Sophie called from... round the corner from a bus station. There were only three departures between the call to their house and Kevin arriving at the station, but in Sally’s words: “they are either somewhere between here and Bournemouth, and Leeds and Glasgow.” Sally is distraught and says that she just wants Sophie home.

Dev and Sunita are getting in their car when Sally and Kevin leave their house. Dev wants to hear them tell the truth about Sophian’s reasons for leaving, as he’s sure that it is because they hurt Aadi. Kevin gets protective of his daughter and Sally holds him back from becoming aggressive with Dev, as does Sunita to her husband. Then Sally stands up for her daughter for the first time since knowing the truth:

Sally: Look, I know what you’re thinking, I know what people are saying, but I’m telling you this: I’m proud of my daughter, because whatever else she is, she is a good kid, with a good heart. She is no liar, and she would never, ever do anything to harm another human being, let alone a child.
Sunita: We know that Sal...
Sally: I don’t think you do, any of you! And that is one of the reasons that she’s out there now, a frightened kid who doesn’t know where to turn! Now, I’m sorry for what happened to your child but, I swear, if I hear either of you making vile accusations about my daughter again, it’ll be me you’ll have to hold back, not my husband!

September 6^th
It’s breakfast time at the Webster’s house and Random Rosie is sitting at the table while Kevin bangs about the kitchen getting ready for his work. Kevin’s still in a mood because of Dev accusing Sophian of hurting Aadi. Random Rosie asks if he told Dev the real reason why they ran away and when Kevin says it’s none of their business, Random Rosie asks if it’s because Sally and himself are anti-gays? Kevin says they’re nothing of the sort, but Random Rosie retaliates with: “Yeah, until it comes to your own daughter.” Kevin gets defensive and tells her to shut up and eat her breakfast. Random Rosie suggests that Sophie might have gone to his sister’s, but when Kevin says they would have heard if that were the case, she says that Sophie might have told her Aunt that her family knew she was there and that’s why they hadn’t been in touch from there. So Kevin calls his sister to make sure.

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When Kevin asks his sister if she’s seen Sophie, he says that she’s ran off with “a mate”, causing Random Rosie to look at him with shock and disgust at not being able to tell his own sister about Sophian being a couple. She tells him it’s pathetic that he can’t tell her and that she thinks both he and Sally would be happier if they were child-beaters, but Kevin says that he doesn’t care what they are he just wants them home safe. Random Rosie says that if the two of them hadn’t reacted the way they did she might still be there. Kevin realises Random Rosie’s worried and upset about her sister and that’s why she’s acting that way, so walks over to comfort her and reassure her that they’ll get them back.

Ashley tells his friend that Claire has gone to stay with her mum to get away from the street and the gossiping about her or the girls’ involvement in Aadi’s accident.

Kevin’s at work when he receives a phone call from the police telling him that there’s been a sighting of two girls in Manchester, so he goes to collect Sally and they set off in the hope that it’s Sophian. They return shortly after as it turns out the two girls weren’t Sophian after all, so the search is still on.

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It’s been a long time coming, but I have to say that the way actress Brooke Vincent (Sophie) played the scene between Sophie and Random Rosie was absolutely heart-wrenching! I congratulate both actresses and the writers in the most truthful portrayal of that sort of scene in any program that I’ve come across in a long time, most notably in the UK.

With all the drama of Aadi’s injury, Sophian’s outing, and Claire and Sophian’s swift exit from the street, what will the writers have in store for us next week? Will Aadi remember what actually happened and let everyone else stop getting the blame for it? Will Simon own up to his part in the accident too? Will Sophian get in contact again and actually come back? Check out next week’s recap to find out and read previous recaps here.

Get ready for another fresh pile of political news with a focus on European LGBT content, e.g. material on diversity for teachers and someone jumping off a plane to raise money.

Around the Corner

With the 'Don’t Ask – Don’t Tell' policy having been in place for so long, I often wondered what made lesbians and gays still sign up with the Navy in recent years. Listen to this interview in which a lesbian, who will always be known as "the first lesbian cadet who resigned from US Military because of DADT", explains how she had underestimated the toll this policy would take on her personally.

Europe

Yesterday’s agenda asked for the European Parliament to discuss the topic of discrimination against same-sex married and in civil partnership couples. If you have about an hour of time, you can watch the discussion here (translation in almost all languages available). ILGA will publish a reaction later today.

Bulgaria

A Bulgarian bishop handed out one of the highest catholic awards to a mayor and a prosecutor, both known for their anti-gay policies.

France

Le Réfuge (an NGO offering a safe haven to young adults who are experiencing homo- and/or transphobia) has been approved by the National Agency for community services, which means they are now allowed to welcome volunteers aged 16-25, they are currently looking for six of them (see Yagg or Le Réfuge on Facebook for details).

A lesbian couple (and their lawyer) had their request accepted according to which the Constitutional Court has to explain why gay marriages are considered unconstitutional and why these decisions were made by judges. According to an analysis published on Têtu, the motifs for this request are more political than juridical, with them planning to have the discussion out in public during the campaigns for the next presidential election (spring 2012).

Germany

NRW (North Rhine Westphalia): the new government reintroduces a brochure called 'Handling Diversity: sexual orientation and diversity in education and consultation'. This brochure was part of the European project TRIANGLE, created by the pre-predecessor (a red-green government) and banned by its successor (a black-yellow government) which had to step down after the election this May.

Frankfurt: congress about the (multilayered) discrimination and (lacking) integration of lesbians with an immigration background. October 3 – 5, 2010.

Frankfurt: conference about lesbian and gays in Germany; can we still speak of discrimination when gays and lesbians celebrate Pride events, show their commitment to each other with civil unions, etc. October 7th, 7 –9 pm, deadline for registration is October 1st.

Fürstenberg: Workshop about female homosexuality in Nazi Germany, October 8 – 10, deadline for registration is October 4th.

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Iceland / Faroe Islands / Denmark

The Faroe Islands are an autonomous nation within the kingdom of Denmark, though Denmark keeps some responsibility in e.g. foreign affairs. And as the Faroe Islands are not a member of the European Union, Denmark won’t be happy with them blatantly showing off their homophobia.
Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir, Prime Minister of Iceland, visited the Faroe Islands on an official state visit, accompanied by her wife. The leader of the Christian-based and conservative Center Party refused to attend the state dinner, as he refused to eat in the company of a lesbian. Others quickly tried to appease this situation by insisting that Jóhanna Sigurðardóttir was indeed very welcome to the Islands, but that’s not what headlines are made of.

Ireland

A report called 'Voices of children', which is looking into the lives of children with LGBT parents, is going to be revealed today by the organisation Marriage Equality.

Serbia

Serbia annouced that the first gay march in ten years will be held in Belgrade next month.

UK (hat tip @ Tim)

Sally Bercow, a Labour activist, announced that she will jump out of a plane in order to raise money for Stonewall. This is not a joke, she calls it 'jump for equality', details can be found on her JustGiving page. You may want to follow her on Twitter if you want to keep up with the progress of the jump, next to the other interesting things she has to say.

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That’s it for this week, did I miss something you would like to have seen covered?

Please drop us a line via politics (at) eurout.org or by using Twitter (@eurout, @eurout_politics or @maxime68).

Read previous LNS columns here.

And don’t forget to check out some of our recent articles such as: The joy of single parenthood, The Netherlands: Tool kit for help organizations to deal with non-western gay immigrants, Website of the Week: Spanish website Lez on Life and more.

[Editor’s Note: This article was written by the team of Gaelick.com, an award-winning Irish website for LGBT-news.]

From guest writer, Zemama:

I was chatting with a colleague last week, comparing notes about our adorable little ones, when she asked “do you have any friends who come over at night?” Huh? Then she said it “I don’t know how you do it. I go home and have my husband to help with the baby. Don’t you have anyone come over in the evenings to help you?” I’m getting used to it, but there is a fine line between acknowledging that single parenthood is bloody hard work and acting like raising my son, the greatest joy in my life, is some sort of tragedy.

I am not divorced. I did not have a crisis pregnancy. I am an educated professional single woman in my 40s. I carefully considered how I would parent solo, and I had my son after years and years of concerted effort. He is the result of deliberate planning and hard work, not the result of personal crisis or loss. None of it has been easy. In my first year of motherhood, I cried a lot. Some weeks, I cried every day. But I’ve never laughed so much in my life. I’ve never felt such joy or such passion for anything or anyone. I’ve never had so darn much fun.

Everything is a trade off. Many of the people who marvel at my ability to prepare a proper dinner every night (okay, most nights) find time for a couple hours of tele every night. I’d waaay rather read Everywhere Babies or I Am A Bunny than watch some tele family’s silly drama. I’ve traded a lot of unfulfilling, time wasting activities for the joy of sharing Christmas morning with a child (my child, every year), for the wonder of deciphering his first words, for the rush of love when he crawls up on my lap for a cuddle. I was on the far side of 40 when I became a mother, and that means I had decades to go clubbing and take holidays. I did, and I enjoyed that. But no way does sitting in a crowded bar having beer spilled on me compare to the joy of parenthood. (But in the interest of full disclosure, I have to say my clothes have been doused in far worse than beer since my son’s arrival.)

Yes, it is hard. But for me, being childless was much, much harder.

Even attachment parenting experts Dr. William Sears and Martha Sears, RN had a totally irrelevant go at single mothers in their Baby Book, which was updated in 2005.

Our hearts go out to mothers who by choice or by circumstance begin their parenting careers without a mate.
(My emphasis)

Really? You acknowledge an adult made a choice and still your heart goes out? The book is full of useful advice, but the good doctor can shove his heart right up another part of his anatomy.

My heart goes out to women who stay in miserable relationships thinking it’s best for their children. My heart goes out to women who cook for and clean up after both their children and their partners. In fact, older married straight mothers are the people who have been most reassuring. I’ve been surprised at how many of them bluntly told me that really, aside from finances, they were pretty much parenting solo.

The most sensible comment I’ve had came from a little neighbour boy who was very curious about my son. I explained a bit about our family of two in an age appropriate way, and he smiled and said “I bet he makes you real happy.” Yep, he does.

We often talk about the problems gay immigrants face when they can’t get a residence permit.

Or when they can’t be reunited with their partners, or when they will be sent back to a country where they will most certainly receive punishment for being openly gay.

But what about LGBT people who either immigrated themselves or whose (grand)parents immigrated and for whom these problems are not to be expected?

A new report is out in the Netherlands on how to provide support for non-western immigrants with gay feelings. What faces non-western immigrants or people with foreign non-western roots is on some fronts completely different from what faces western immigrants or people who were born in the Netherlands. People generally don’t stop to think about this, which means that this specific group of people with its specific set of challenges often gets lost between the mandatory token person with an Arabic-sounding name in a leaflet on sexuality handed out in schools and the image that it is mostly immigrants who beat up gay people. That doesn’t seem a very comfortable position to be in.

Besides possibly being shunned by their community or being thrown out of the house, non-western immigrants with gay feelings are also affected by the way their cultures usually handles sexuality to begin with. As the report says, coming out is a relatively western phenomenon. Non-western immigrants with gay feelings are typically invisible and would like to remain as such. I imagine that even when they do contact some form of psychological help, it wouldn’t immediately become clear what problems they are facing. This isn’t something that only happens to non-western immigrants. Last week I had to listen to a boy my age as he explained what the Dutch LGBT organization COC was involved with, because I happened to be at a first year student’s information market and they happened to give away marshmallows. (Yes, they lured me to their stand with marshmallows. I didn’t mind.) However, I do think it’s more of a problem for gay immigrants when they are perceived straight, because they could at the same time be having a lot of problems in their family or community.

The report, issued by MOVISIE, is actually a ‘tool kit’ for municipalities, local organizations and social workers. It teaches them what the distinctive issues are for non-western immigrants with gay feelings and their immediate environment and it gives a set of practical solutions or ideas for improvement of the current situation. Tips are to organize informal meetings, nice dinners, movie nights and to set up buddy systems, where someone is matched to someone else with more experience or confidence. These buddy systems are not unique or new, they are also used for people with a handicap who have trouble finding friends and that they would be used for different social groups probably means they have had good results so far. All this is to create new social networks for people who might be without one right after they come out.

MOVISIE is an organization I had never heard of, which doesn’t seem to have anything to do with what they do. In 2009, about half of their budget came from the Ministry of Health, Welfare and Sport – they are a non-profit organization. Although in other cases that would make me doubt how independent they are, I have read the tool kit and I don’t really see anything wrong with it. If anything, it would be that tool kits or reports or plans with a certain number of detailed steps are always a little overenthusiastic. Who knows how many people are going to be interested in movie nights, or confident enough to go to one of those events? Who says the immediate environment of the person seeking help is going to cooperate? Isn’t non-cooperation from the immediate environment the original problem?

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Then again, I haven’t actually met more than four people from a non-western background who were LGBT and I think it says enough that I met them through my queer networks. I have no examples of people with a lot of problems at home and no one I know has ever needed to be placed in a so-called 'Veilige Haven' (Safe Haven) house because they were kicked out. These cases exist though and I’m pretty certain that it doesn’t matter how many people find their way to help, as long as there are people who do and as long as these possibilities keep being created.

MOVISIE’s website can be found here and the tool kit can be downloaded here if you have an account on the website.

We’re not starting things off well with this recap, so let’s just get this image out of the way and hope it’ll move forward.

Teresa and Héctor are in bed having their post-sex talk. I thought only lesbians did this; the whole processing after sex part. Or it may just be that Teresa is a processing kind of gal because it took a whole lot of processing after that kiss she had with Ana.

She tells him that she wants to be embraced by him forever (ugh) and questions if he knew that this was her first time having sex. He acknowledges that fact and she thanks him for being so tender and careful with her. This should be a talk between Ana and Teresa, not Héctor and Teresa.

She then questions that it mustn’t have been very special to him and that he’s probably done it many times before. He goes all romantic and says that it was like the first time for him as well because it was the first time with her.

Ana is talking to Carmen (Teresa’s mother), thanking her for taking such good care of Marta now that she’s bedridden. The women talk about how their day was and Ana tells her that it’s been a strange day (referring to the kiss), but that it was a very revealing day. In her mind Ana flashes back to the moment of the kiss. And because I am here to serve you I’ll show it to you again.

Carmen asks her why it was so revealing to her and Ana tells Carmen it is nothing; she just discovered something about herself. Carmen asks her if it was a good thing, but all we get is a goofy smile before we switch to Teresa and Héctor in bed again where Teresa questions Héctor on how it was with Ana. Asking tips for the future already?

Héctor says he doesn’t care about Ana that way anymore; he only cares about her. Man knows all the right words. But Teresa still wants to know about Ana because she wants to know if she was better (yeah right). Héctor tells her that she (Teresa) was the best and that it’s just the two of them.

We cut back to Ana and Carmen where Ana tells Carmen that she doesn’t know if the discovery is a good thing or a bad thing, but that she liked discovering it because now she knows herself a bit better. Carmen however knows better; she tells Ana that the only reason for such a smile is that Ana discovered that she is in fact in love.

Ana answers that yes, maybe she is in love, before going on a tangent how love comes in many forms and that friendship isn’t the least important.

Ana: That’s why I think that your son and daughter have become my two great loves.
Carmen: Both of them love you; each in his or her own way.

Ana tells Carmen that she has been thinking about soul mates (remember when she gave that speech earlier to Teresa?) and asks Carmen if she thinks this is true. Carmen tells her that it could be, but that even if we found that person, life wouldn’t always allow us to be with them.

Ana tells her that she doesn’t care about that and that her bond with Carmen’s family is strong and that no one could break it. Why do I have a feeling that this will come back to haunt her? Right, it’s a soap opera; these things always come back to haunt the characters.

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Carmen then pulls out the honesty card and tells Ana that although she knows Ana is sincere in her actions, Ana is still upper class and Alfonso is ‘just a boy’ with no education or money.

Ana rebuffs that she doesn’t care about social class, education or even the gender that people have. She only cares about what the heart transmits.

Carmen tells her that she’s glad Ana thinks that way, but that those are unfortunately exactly the things that prevent people from being with the person they love. Unfortunately this is true even in this day and age, but I digress.

Ana: Maybe. But nothing can prevent us from keep loving them or take away from life all the moments we can spend with them. That is just up to us.
Carmen: You are very brave, Ana.

Carmen gets a little teary eyed: she is in love with Simón, her husband’s friend, and knows she cannot be with him.

Carmen: I wish I could take charge of my life like you are doing. But I find it very difficult.
Ana: It is never too late, Carmen.

A very excited Alfonso is sitting on the stairs at the Rivas Stores, pretending to be the announcer of a boxing match between him and the mannequin. Yes. I know. It’s weird and adorable at the same time. Ana walks out of the elevator and is quite charmed with it as well and just stands there looking at him for a bit.

Alfonso knocks the mannequin over with a punch and celebrates his victory over the doll until he hears something fall down. Ana purposely knocked down an ashtray and he runs down the stairs to see what it was. Ana yells out his name and he gets startled. It’s quite adorable really, if only because Ana is quite adorable when she’s amused.

Alfonso questions what she is doing there at this hour, but Ana, still amused, just asks him what the mannequin did to him to deserve such a beating. He tells her he was just training and Ana tells him to get an undressed mannequin next time or the clothes might get ruined. He looks ashamed and she quickly tells him that she was kidding.

He asks again what she is doing there and she tells him that she came to see him because she was missing him. He looks a bit incredulous and Ana asks him if he’s not glad to see her. He tells her that of course he is, but he usually doesn’t get any visitors at this time of the night.

Ana tells him that she couldn’t sleep or stop thinking about him. Alfonso asks her if her family isn’t worried about her, but she tells him that they’d only worry if they knew, but that they never know anything.

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This upsets Alfonso and he wonders if they should see each other. Ana tells him that she felt like seeing him so there she is. She moves in to kiss him but he moves away, telling her that she’s always the one to take initiative and that he’d like to be the one taking initiative. Ana tells him that perhaps he should take her hand and lead her to her father’s office.

Ok. 1. How is that taking initiative? And 2. Gross for doing the nasty in her father’s office.

Next thing we see is a very tired Alfonso getting home in the morning where he sees a very happy Teresa in the kitchen. It’s the post great-sex-glow, Alfonso. You might want to get used to it now that she’s doing Héctor.

At work Ana is showing a new employee, Carmen (NOT the mother of Teresa), the locker rooms where Teresa is just changing into her work clothing. Ana apologizes to Teresa but continues showing Carmen around. When the new employee leaves, it gives Ana and Teresa some time to talk again and we finally get our first moment of the girls together in one space.

Ana apologizes again for bothering her while she was getting dressed (Aren’t you supposed to expect that when you’re in a locker room? That people can walk in?). Teresa tells her not to worry about it and Ana goes to leave, but Teresa calls out her name. She has something very important to tell her.

Ana gets all hopeful one second before getting her heart crushed as Teresa tells her that she had sex for the first time and that it was with Héctor.

Ana is taken aback with that for a miniature second. Well actually, she is taken aback by that quite a bit, but she hides her feelings quickly with a smile and a hug.

Ana then goes all ‘I need to tell you something too’ and proceeds to tell Teresa that she and Alfonso spent the night in her father’s office.

Teresa takes it in for a moment, only to ask if Ana is serious. When Ana nods in the affirmative both of them get quite giddy and just plain cute.

They’re going to be sisters-in-law. Now there’s a twisted relationship if I ever saw one; Ana is actually in love with Teresa and is doing this to feel close to Teresa. Teresa is still confused about her feelings but pushes them away and the men are total idiots.

Next time:
Though the prospect of being sisters-in-law is still very nice for Ana, she gets jealous when she isn’t able to spend much time with Teresa because Teresa is spending time with Héctor.

This time eurOut features as our Website of the Week the Spanish website Lez on Life, a blog about the love and lives of lesBians in Valencia, Spain.

We first heard about these ladies last week when they commented they liked one of our posts, or one of Gaelick's posts to be more precise. I was curious to find out what their site was all about, so I went to take a look.

Lez on Life offers a nice and diverse blog covering every kind of topic that might be of interest to Spanish lesBians. This ranges from things like local queer events taking place to lesbian news from around the world, to the latest music and entertainment news, book reviews and lots more.

I'm so used to always reading websites in the English language, I sometimes forget there's probably also lots of women out there who'd prefer to get their queer news in their own language. If you speak Spanish, Lez on Life is a great website to get your dose of lesbianism.

What do you think of Lez on Life? Do you read lesbian websites in your own language or do you stick to the English ones? Let us know in the comments.

We all know that in order for a show to be good, the characters must be good. If you can’t relate, what’s the point of watching, right?

We have told you about Lip Service before and we are happy to announce that the character descriptions are in! Time for some of that lesBian processing!

A spirited photographer who's emotionally off-the-rails, Frankie attracts trouble at every turn. She comes across as fearless and irreverent but strip away the bravado and she's the most vulnerable of the group. Occasionally bisexual, Frankie generally only uses men for sex but falls in love with women. Intimacy is a problem for Frankie. She bailed on her relationship with Cat before giving it a chance, escaping to New York. For Frankie, casual sex offers an opportunity to run away from herself when the rest of her life is in freefall. Frankie's home life is difficult. Her parents died when she was a child and she was raised by her Aunt Carol and bullish Uncle Cameron who's always treated her like an outsider. When Aunt Carol dies, Frankie returns home but her return isn't welcomed by everyone.

As Frankie (Ruta Gedmintas) is the protagonist, it’s not that hard to imagine she is also the one to stir up the chaos. I predict broken hearts and catfights. The butch factor says she’ll win.

A self-assured architect, Cat is a driven control freak with a tendency to fret and analyze everything and anything, rarely leaping before she looks. A loyal friend and loving sister to Ed, Cat is able to be very open with those closest to her but is often cagey and secretive in relationships, finding it hard to really open up. Cat's first big love was the exciting - but wild - Frankie. Teenage best friends, they fell in love in their twenties but then Frankie bailed out and took off to the States.

The only thing the trailer gave us of Cat (Laura Fraser) is the best way to screw up a date before it even started so I’m not sure what to say about her yet. I’m not digging the hair but that’s preference. All I know is that if she bailed out of that dinner date with Sam (*swoon*, but I’ll get to that later), she needs a new set of eyeballs.

Struggling actress Tess is Cat's best friend and flatmate who has an uncanny knack of falling for all the wrong sorts of women. Terribly sardonic, Tess's vulnerable side is buried under self-deprecating comments, sarcasm and anger. In contrast to her organised and tidy flatmate Cat, Tess is scandalously messy and lives a chaotic life. Sometimes lacking confidence, Tess is a sucker for women who treat her badly. Although she might rant to her friends when a girlfriend treats her badly, Tess generally ignores their advice, letting lovers off the hook whenever they feed her a sob story.

I did not expect this kind of person from the trailer but I guess you can never tell a book by its cover. I think Tess (Fiona Button) is terribly cute but I’m a little worried about possible burn moments. I guess we’ll have to see. Her romantic interest (patience, patience) sounds like she fits the above description of Tess’s girlfriends to a tee. Poor Tess.

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A detective sergeant with the police, Sam is Cat's first date since her break-up with Frankie. Sam is stable, funny, cynical and insightful. She rarely hides her feelings, preferring things out in the open - Sam can be disarmingly honest and expects the same level of honesty back. She doesn't like to play games in her relationships. Although she can be very understanding she has a lot of self-respect and won't be messed around.

That jaw line… Good Goddess! The character description of Sam (Heather Peace) tells me nothing about the chances of success between her and Cat but I’m flashing back to Olivia Benson and I approve! Sam sounds like the only one of the bunch who actually has her life in order, which will probably make her the odd one out for the rest of the series. Too bad because as far as favorite characters go, Sam is definitely it for me!

Stunningly attractive and charming when she wants to be, daytime TV presenter Lou Foster has quickly worked her way up the media ladder. On a superficial level she has an amazing ability to charm and knows how to flatter, but her mood can change in an instant and she can be hugely selfish and unreasonable. Although Lou likes the attention she gets from men, she has always secretly fancied women. Lou doesn't like the idea of being viewed as a lesbian, but she is desperate to sleep with a woman and her relationship with Tess brings out the best and worst in her.

Oh boy… I hate to admit this but I feel a trainwreck coming on. I’m also a bit afraid this is the ever-present coming out story. Ah well, Lou (Roxanne McKee) sounds like a lesbian Jackie Burkhart (and I did always wonder about her friendship with Donna…) so how bad can it be, right? Perhaps things will even out for her and Tess in the end.

A gentle bloke and true friend, Ed is very close to his sister, Cat. A would-be novelist, Ed pays the rent with temping work, often working alongside Tess in times of need. Ed's love life is a disaster and he puts his lack of success with women down to not being macho enough. Ed has a secret and long-standing crush on Tess but she is completely oblivious to his adoration, seeing him merely as a good friend and confidante.

Ed (James Antony Pearson) sounds very sweet and adorable and I’m afraid he’s going to get his heart handed back to him in a gazillion pieces. Secretly, I kind of want it to be this way because I like the idea of Tess with a woman. Having said that; if Ed makes her happy and finally makes her forget about her need to be put down by her lovers, I’ll gladly accept Ed as her romantic interest.

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Jay has been friends with Cat since their days at university and they now work together at a city centre architect's firm. A key part of the group, Jay is particularly close to Frankie. A self-confessed womaniser, Jay has been faithful to his current girlfriend Becky for quite some time - by his standards at least. But, unfortunately for Becky, her love doesn't diminish his never-ending desire for affirmation through sex.

Uh-oh, straight Jay/Frankie sex alert! If you have seen the special character portrait video of Frankie, you can tell the two of them are pretty darn close. Well, I can look away for a couple of minutes to give the bisexual and straight audiences something to look at; even I have to admit Emun Elliot, the actor, is hot.

Alright, that’s it, the main cast of Lip Service. Are you excited? Who are you rooting for? Who has ideas for shipper names? Can anyone spot the hook-ups coming? Who wants to offer advice on potential drinking games? In short; what do you think of Lip Service?